how to judge yourself

Whenever your head gets too hot, you need to cool down. Ask yourself: after what you have achieved, so what? Whenever you win awards, score the highest in a test, or accomplished any other personal goals, and then feel great about yourself, ask yourself: Have I made a contribution to knowledge? Have I made a contribution to others? Thinking in this way will keep you away from narcissism, and prevent the thinking on what you get.

The fundamental question "so what" relates to how you judge yourself. I don't have a clear answer now. But think in terms of "Why you do the things you do" is a good way to search your values within and will make sure for what reason I do it. Besides, being able to answering "so what" every now and then will clear out your vanity.

What motivates you

What motivates you?

Paper, fame, money, external expectation, or dreams, intuitions, love? Where is the motivation?

It seems that it should be something great. I don't know the answer now.

Increasing your responsibility

From the talk with uncle: becoming a supervisor requires you to share your knowledge willingly, to be sociable, to be able to motivate others, and consequently your responsibility will increase.

The things that I believe

Whenever someone is trying to ridicule people who believe in god by showing them the inconsistency of the existence of a god, it only proves how ignorant he is. We all have a set of deeply-entrenched beliefs that are unjustifiable. For those who have a religious belief, it is easier for them to know what they believe. But I don't believe in god, and I need to look deep into my heart to know what I believe. Here is a list of them.

I believe that the future is dynamic, that I must do my best to become what I truly want to be, and that I, as an independent man, have the control of my own life.

I believe that happiness is an internal state of mind, that optimism is much better than pessimism, and that a positive mindset is prerequisite for doing anything significant.

I believe that imagination is more important than knowledge and that the possibility of solving a problem should be the focus rather than problems themselves.

I believe in intuition. (Sometimes the best choice is made before I can understand why, and that is when I really need to follow my heart: "Because you didn't come here to make the choice, you've already made it. You're here to try to understand why you made it." -- Matrix, Reloaded.)

I believe that the purpose of competitions is to drive me to strengthen myself, and is not to beat others, and that a good opponent sometimes worths more than a teammate.

Critical Self-assessment 2 -- Love

A girl with the heart of an angel and with dreams; a girl of deep personal conviction to her beliefs and of unmatchable intuition.

...

Let it be. What you can change is yourself, not others. So, let it be.

Critial Self-assessment 2 -- Research

What do you want to know?

In summer, research becomes the sole component of school activities, and for the first time, I taste its intensity: endless possibilities, daunting amount of information to digest and, of course, random excitement. One confusion I had at the beginning stage is how can I possibly do any research if I haven't read all the articles in my field.

The reading is endless. I despair when seeing the number of articles popping up in the search engine. Luckily, one senior member in my group helps me to solve the problem. He simply asked me "what do you want to know?". Even though the field is huge, any project is small, and the knowledge required to kick the project going is small.

This question is an extended version of the more general question: what do you want. I still remember on the first day I met my mentor, he said to me that I will make my life easier if I know what I want. It seemed easy, but in practice, it is not. Now I know why.

All the posts related to the ELWS were deleted.

I apologize for my ignorance of the copyright issue. Sorry again, Dr. Peter Grav.

Thanks for this important lesson.

Maths is a set of logic operations

Maths is a set of logic operations that physicists apply to concepts (abstracted from facts) in order to find out the relationship among them so that they can predict.

Critical Self-assessment 2 -- Health

As usual, the first thing to assess is health. Just recently, I realized that health is a dynamic state. Not getting myself sick doesn't mean what I am doing is good health habit. This simple idea strikes me because it shows how wrong I was. I thought I was in perfect health but I had been actually "preparing" to be sick for a long time. Now since I know what is good habit and what is bad habit, I try hard to live up to good habits. But I do forget, and it happens all the times. I need remind myself every now and then what the good habits are. Here is a list of things I should do, with the one I've forgotten highlighted:

1. Eat vegetables and fruits, organic preferred.
   
2. Drink good water, 3 cups at least.
   
3. Exercise daily/weekly: stretching, walking, running, and weight lifting
   
4. Rest frequently.
5. Relax, especially when getting too excited, force myself to relax through breathing technique.
6. Eat not until I feel stuffed, but eat only till "7 cheng bao".
   

Another thing that comes into my mind about health is the idea of energy level. I felt terrible last week after I concentrated my energy on reading for a few days. My mind just refuses to work. My actual working hour in a day is not long, not even 8 hours. I want to extend the limit, and to do so, I need to constantly monitor my body's condition by developing self-awareness.

Lastly, again, be patient. "Good things don't happen in one day." as my professor teaches me. Eat good food, drink good water, relax well. "You are on your way to go."

Failure is how I learn

In whatever I do, I don't like to fail; I tried very hard to achieve my goal. But failures inevitably come to me. The only way for me to get out of the pessimistic feeling coming with failure is to find the reasons why I fail and then look for a way to prevent similar mistakes. Up to now, I have come through all sorts of failures small and big, small as a loss in a soccer game, big as the loss of a golden medal in National Chemistry Olympiad. All of them have both internal and external causes. But the only constructive way of thinking is to look for the internal cause.

Failures not only come in my professional life, but also in my personal life. And the latter is usually caused by a lack of communication, not only mind-to-mind communication, but also heart-to-heart communication. And the only constructive way out is to improve the quality and level of communication so as to facilitate mutual understanding and hence to prevent future misunderstanding or conflict.

self-observation, a source of knowledge

The focus of science is on nature, on things outside ourselves, and scientists almost always gather information from external sources. As a student majored in science, I used to believe the external word is the only source of information. But gradually I realize another rich source of knowledge; it lies inside myself. Feelings, emotions, personal values, moral principles, and even interests can only obtained through searching within myself. It is the observation of me that gives me all the these knowledge. "Know thyself"!

Summarize to one idea

Summarize a presentation to one idea: one take-home message per presentation. Both listeners and speakers will benefit from this strategy. A listener summarizes two entrepreneurship lectures into two sentences: "Networking to death" and "Your IP-strategy is your business plan", which helps the listener grasp the main idea of the two presentations. On the other hand, the speaker will deliver the information more efficiently and effectively when his/her materials are organized around one center idea.

Summarizing to one idea is also useful in reading a book. Taking notes while reading seems to be a good practice but requires too much time in copying. On contrary, summarizing each paragraph, each section, each chapter, and each book will reduce the amount of words taken down and, at the same time, facilitate the understanding of main ideas in these composition units and form a wholistic view of how one idea relates to another.

Four Factors that Influence Career Choices

Interests, personality, skills, and work values are the four factors that govern one's career choice according to the career counsellor in the career center at UofT. She also suggests that the question I need to ask myself when choosing a career is that WILL MY JOB FULFILL THE REQUIREMENTS DERIVED FROM MY VALUES, MY PERSONALITIES, MY INTERESTS, AND MY SKILLS?

For me, values and personalities have a stronger influence than the rest two. I need a period of time to figure out exactly what my values and personalities are. Luckily, I gained an insightful comments of my personalities by completing the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test. Here is a list of requirements of a satisfying job based on my personality.

1. The opportunity to be a leader while interacting with a variety of people, on a variety of projects throughout the day.
   
2. A competitive and challenging environment where advancements are available and promotions given on the basis of demonstrated merit and competence.
   
3. Work that lets me solve complex problems in creative yet logical ways, working with other people I respect.
   
4. The opportunity to do long range planning and develop strategies that will perfect or improve the efficiency of systems.
5. An environment where I am respected for my contributions of ideas and actions, and where I am evaluated and compensated in a fair and consistent manner.
6. Projects that let me constantly increase my knowledge and competence and develop original solutions to new problems.
   

My Personality Test Results

I attended the Career Choice and Your Personality workshop in UofT career center at the end of last semester. During the workshop, the host first guided us to self-select our personalities, and then compared the self-selected results with the results from the standard Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) tests which we had previously completed. MBTI divides personalities by four dichotomies. Each of them indicates the personal preference of the direction of focus (Extroversion - Introversion), ways of acquiring information (Sensing - iNtuition), ways of deciding and evaluating (Thinking - Feeling), and ways of interacting with the outer world (Judging - Perceiving).

My self-selected result is EI/N/T/J. I had a hard time deciding whether I prefer E or I. My reported result is slight E/ clear N/ Moderate T/ Moderate J. And based on the two results, I found my personality analyses. They give descriptions on potential strengths and weaknesses, what I am good at, where might be my pit-fall, what kind of career I might find satisfying, as well as recommendations for the job search.

Since I have a tendency to look at the good side of everything including me, the reported weakness and potential pit-falls are more valuable to me than the rest. Here are some of them.

INTJ weakness/potential pitfalls:

1. Because of their sometimes impossibly high standards, INTJs tend to be perfectionists. They are such complex people that their ideas are sometimes too complicated for others to understand.
   
2. Most interested in their ideas and plans for the future, INTJs can miss some of the important practical concerns or realities that need to be considered to make their plans really workable.
   
3. I need to watch my tendency to lose interest in projects after the creative problem solving is over.
   
4. I need to watch my tendency to be impatient and disrespectful of those I consider less competent.
   
5. I need to watch my tendency to be unwilling to adapt to other environments or work styles.
   
6. I need to watch my tendency to be rigid in my viewpoints, dismissing opposing ones without full consideration.
   

ENTJ weakness/potential pitfalls:

1. Given their strong and authoritative style, ENTJs can easily run over others and take charge of situations that are not theirs to direct.
2. They can be harsh and blunt in their criticism.
3. They sometimes don't listen or finish other people's sentences when they erroneously assume they know what weas going to be said.
   
4. ENTJs run the risk of being all-business and not spending adequate time and energy on their personal lives.
   
5. In their eagerness to move ahead with new challenges, ENTJs sometimes make decisions too quickly, especially missing important practical information or considering how their decisions may affect other people.
6. While they pride themselves on their ability and intellect, ENTJs sometimes do not invite the input or suggestions of other people and can unknowingly communicate a superior attitude that may offend others.
   
7. I need to watch my tendency to consider only creative or unusual approaches to problems.
8. I need to watch my tendency to be critical and demanding with others.
9. I need to watch my tendency to forget to appreciate others or express encouragement.
   
10. I need to watch my tendency to lose sight of the personal side of my life while chasing my ambitions.
    

Do things in order of importance

One of my major problems is that there are too many things I want to do, but there is too little time to do them. I have a list of books I want to read, a list of skills I want to develop or improve, and a list of experiments I want to run. It's impossible to do all at the same time. The only way to solve this problem, I have found so far, is to prioritize things on the lists, and do them according to their priorities.

Be specific of what you want so that people can help you better

We all need people's help. The most effective way of getting help from others, I have found so far, is to be as specific as possible of what I want. Say, when asking Sue for help about the metal work the other day, "I want to connect this tube with this flask". Then she taught me several ways to do so, and solved my problem. Being specific of what I want clarifies my problem, prevents misunderstanding, and consequently makes the communication effective.

A Dinner on Etiquette

When I was in college, I learned that in the old days, European people has a set of strict etiquette rules. If one violates the rules, he or she will not be considered as gentleman or lady, and consequently not be accepted in so-called upper class. Last Thursday, the Institute of Optical Science in UofT organized a dinner on continental etiquette. I joined that dinner to have an experience how Victorian people lived.

The dinner is actually a workshop. There was an instructor,who is a certified etiquette counsel, talking throughout the entire dinner. She "teached" us how to act properly from entering a dinner table till leaving the table. I guess only royal family had the luxury to enjoy such dinner for some of the rules only apply to a formal dinner comprising several dishes. Also, from those rules comes a sense of dignity and pride, which suggests royalty. But the royal class are "gone with the wind". For me, those rules are like chains on the body as well as on the mind. Thank goodness I do not live in Victorian times.

For amusement, here is a list of several interesting rules the certified etiquette counsel talked.

• Enter a table from the left of the chair.
• Put the napkin on top the chair during temporary leaving.
• BMW: bread on the left, meal in the middle, water on the right.
• When replying thanks, say my pleasure instead of no problem.
• The rule of eating: SMALL bite.
• Use the leftmost forks and rightmost knives first if multiple sets are provided.
• Never do the clean-up. Call waiters or hostess.
• When leaving the table temporarily, put the forks and knives in 7:20 position; when finishing the dinner, put the forks and knives in 12:00 position.

Websign

It's so true.

Critical Self-assessment 1 cont.

Second of all, research. It is the main reason of my being here. I joined Prof. Geoffrey Ozin's group at the end of September after the supervisor selection period. It is a materials chemistry group which focuses on inorganic nanomaterials. I have been involved in three projects since then, and am still in the process of training on related technical skills. I have taken a chemistry course related to my research; its name is nanochemistry: a chemical approach to nanomaterials. It provides a broad view of current research endeavor on nanoscience, and such a helicopter view is just what I want and need in this beginning period. In summary, either in lab or in class, I am still in the process of training, and I have not yet been able to produce anything creative and novel. In the self-assessments that come afterwards, I should gauge my research performance by how creative my work is, not by how much work I have done.

Thirdly, non-major courses. I took three courses that are not related to my major in this semester: two English courses and one course on entrepreneurial skills. They are pretty informative, and I have summarized important sessions in my previous posts.

As for spare time, gosh, I hardly had any real spare time. But I went to a concert once, visit a distance relative once, chatting in pub, having fun with other group members. Seems not a too dull life.

Silly things and mistakes. I certainly made lots of mistakes. But most of them are about food, and have little worth for recording: wasting food because I store them too long, poor cooking, etc. There are also silly things I have done in getting alone with people. But it seems that I forgot them quickly, and now I cannot recollect any of them. I should keep a list of silly things I have done and update the list more frequently than self-assessing.

So here ends my first self-assessment.

Negotiation Style

I took a course on entrepreneurship here in Toronto, and a recent talk is on negotiation. The speaker is from either a law firm or a consulting firm. During the talk, he mentioned various aspects of negotiation, such as goals, styles, value distribution VS. value creation, dispute resolution (negotiation, mediation, arbitration or litigation). What I found most valuable is the three styles of negotiation he said, which are competitive, accommodating, and avoidance.

People with competitive negotiation style tend to push, push and push until the other part says NO. Accommodating people are often soft, and tend to say "OK" and make concession. Avoidance people will not negotiate at all. The negotiation styles are actually determined by personality. And there is no best style. The most effective negotiators have the style of their own, and are always assertive and empathic.

I have been through a competitive negotiation. It was during the FACES conference, and it was a mock negotiation between the Chinese and US governments on Taiwan issue. Both parties tend to push their lines and want the other party to concede. The negotiation is like a hell, but in the end, we made some deals. Afterwards, when I met people from the negotiation group on trade and economy, I was surprised that the negotiation went so "friendly" because each parties voluntarily make concessions. I had no idea why two negotiation were so different, and I know now that it is just two different style.

The blog entry for that class is here.