Aug 16, 2008

Critical Self-assessment 4 -- Research

In a frenetic move, initiated largely by myself and a little by chance, I lead three projects during the summer and am involved in a fourth project. Thank to an understanding of my personality type, I do not doubt any more about juggling different projects.

Right after I came back from Nanjing, I received from my mentor one paper published in Nano Letters a few days ago, reporting a method almost as same as one of my projects. Even though I know that the right sentiment is to be happy for this scientific advancement, I feel a bit defeated because I wasn't the one to achieve this.

My competitiveness at work drives me in the right direction, but in order not to be driven solely by the desire to win or the fear of defeat, I need something larger than myself, something more meaningful than personal victory. It has to be big and important enough so that I can devote my energy into it and rejoice with others to see its advancement. Alternative energy is one field that is closely related to what I am doing; others are brain imaging, personal genome, and still some others outsides science.

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