One the one side, if I take the GRE test this June, there will be less than one month preparation time, which is the worst thing because I am not even familiar with those GRE words. So I will have to spend nearly all the time from now to do the memory work and honing the specific test taking skills. And consequently I will drop a handful of other stuffs including my school work which is now approaching the finals, my laboratory work, which just runs on the right track, and the When Pigs Fly website construction that I am in charge of.
On the other side, if I take the GRE test in October, I will get quite busy this fall: I have six compulsory modules; I have GRE subject test in November; I have laboratory work; I have graduate school application to ponder about; and I have the FACES meeting to attend and FACES collaborative project to participate.
I step back, looking for a decisive weight to be added on one side of the miserable balance. And I finally found it; it's hope. There is a chance that by arranging my schedule properly, I will get so many things done in time.
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It was one o'clock in the morning. Lying on bed and listening every sound night has produce, I couldn't sleep. I ought to feel comfortable; the decision I just make release me temporarily from a huge burden. In retrospect, I found that the feeling of depression is a result of reluctance to give up. In a sense, my decision to postpone the GRE test is to give up the test. I had same kind of feeling in high school when I gave up the physics Olympiad and biology Olympiad in order to focus on the chemistry one. That was also a hard decision, which later proved to be very successful.
